Moutard Grand Cuvee Champagne

Magnums!

Women admire me, men envy me, and I’m the life of all your New Year’s Eve parties.  Rolling in your front door, I’m bringing a double-sized portion of dirty love that can’t be held in its cage.

I’m irresistibly large, ready to explode, and I’ve got twice the staying power of the next guy.  I’m here to shake you all night long.  I’ll do everything your last boyfriend couldn’t.  I’m bringing the thunder.  I’m bringing a magnum.

Magnums!

I’m not talking guns, Case tractors or old TV shows featuring hairy dudes driving Ferraris.  I’m talking about Champagne bottles.

Magnums: the name of Champagne bottles that hold 1.5 liters of liquid, double the size of regular bottles.  Stop wondering.  It’s true.  Size really does matter.  Bigger is better.  Especially in Champagne.

Our selection today — Moutard Brut Champagne.  Down in the Côte des Bar lives the lovely Moutard-Diligent family.  While the Moutards have lived in Champagne since the 17th century, the Côte des Bar is so far removed from the commercial center of Champagne that the family, and the sub-appellation’s wines, have gone relatively unnoticed.  And this is much to our advantage — their prices don’t carry the “downtown” Champagne price tag.  The Côte de Bar creates Champagne that is warmer than Champagne from any of the other 17 sub-appellations of the region.  And the Côte des Bar sits on limestone, just like Burgundy’s Côte d’Or.  One could argue — as I’ve heard Côte des Bar producers argue — that here is the soil of Grand Cru Burgundy, writ Champagne.  But without a Grand Cru price tag.

Moutard’s Brut Champagne opens with wild and intense aromas of fresh raspberries, guava and warm croissants stuffed with praline cream.  The mid-palate reveals the terroir of the Côte des Bar, merging the richness of its Pinot Noir flavors of black cherry and framboise with hints of sous bois, all of them adding depth and breadth to a quintessential Champagne experience.

So this holiday season, don’t be caught with some girly, 750 milliliter-sized bottle of Dom P.   And by all means, don’t subject yourself to scandal with the “Agent Orange” bubbly.   And please ignore those grocery store stacks of blue-labelled negociant sludge whose name sounds like a French term for flushing the toilet.

Go big, and go to Waterford, and go get yourself a magnum (or Balthazar!).

Magnums!